Read 'em and weep!


Admirable’s Division 1 Predictions

Hello e-sports fans!

A quick glance at the archives and some clumsy mental arithmetic tells me that it’s been five weeks since ENSL Season 9 came to a climactic end. With a result that surprised a few people, myself included, and cemented The Sproggalots position as the team to beat.

There has been a wealth of activity in the five weeks since with new players, new teams and old trolls coming up for air. This can mean only one thing, it’s time to get down to business!


Los Negros vs LOL STEAMROLL

A reshuffling amongst Finland’s finest has produced two new teams for Season 9, oh and we’ve thrown some spantards into the mixer for good measure. Watch them fight for your pleasure on a server near you!

The overall success of last season seems to have rekindled an interest in competitive play for quite a few players, not least NyCeR and vara. This nifty duo return to the scene under encouragement from their charismatic compatriot, doogie and his loveable sidekick -=DeZ=-, and I’ll be the first to say it’s great to see the Spanish being well represented again in the ENSL (sorry MAAAD!). The strong Finnish-Spanish links also remain intact from Destination Unknown, with Aleksi and C-mies throwing their weight behind the venture there is definitely potential here. However, it will always be tough for new teams to find their mojo in time for the first week, and judging by what I’ve seen in PCWs I don’t think they will have what it takes to win this one. As the season progresses so will they, but I fear it is too early to expect victory.

Finland’s LOL STEAMROLL have been putting in some serious hours pre-season, and you know what? It’s paying off. Now that Peach is done with the military he’s back to European NS fulltime, and he has assembled a quality roster combining the strengths of saunamen’s experienced player base (NsN, MYTHAN!C and Tane) with the exciting new talents from Destination Unknown (Kuitmo and N@de) and a few returning returning veterans, namely Kenguru and Kylma. I have been watching their progess and they are definitely getting into their groove. Peacham is unchallenged in my eyes as the best commander in NS at the moment, and with some impressive raw talents at his disposal I have seen their Marine Round go from strength to strength. Conversely, I have seen some lacklustre Alien Rounds with some bad co-ordination, easily avoidable mistakes and ropey Fading; luckily these ailments are all easily remedied with a large dose of practise.

Impact players:
is white : doogie (Marine), Aleksi (Skulk), Vartija (Fade)
?LOLSTEAMROLL? : Peacham (Comm), Kuitmo (Most Improved), NsN (Steamroller)

Los Negros 0 - 4 LOL STEAMROLL

Adz’ Final Thought: For a summary of what I expect just check ?LOLSTEAMROLL?’s clan image :D


Flatline-Ns vs Fold

These two combatants have agendas to push this season. One team is looking to secure that elusive ENSL title, whilst the other just wants to prove they still have what it takes to compete…

The German War Machine fell at the last fence after winning all seven league games last season, I have an inkling they will want to go all the way this time around. Ever shrouded in mystery, I was unsure if Flatline-Ns would return, but they are back and are not to be taken lightly. They seem to have done a bit of spring cleaning and removed the random and inactive components from their squad. Controversially Cosmic appears to have parted ways with her fellow Germans. Although she would not have been eligible for this game due to a suspension leading on from her poor behaviour in the finals, I feel that she should not let this get in the way of Flatline’s plans, of which she was a vital component. Flatline-Ns have been inactive in the five weeks since the finals, but it the same situation in Week 1 last season. It should only take a few PCWs to reawaken the beast!

Team Fold’s roster has changed a few times already since its inception a week or two ago, with the likes of tmk, tjosan, frG and pantsu coming and then going, but a theme of old players returning to make their mark on the current European NS scene remains. So I am a little surprised that they recruited a noob like me, I mean have you seen my ENSL record? Truth be told Pizza was unable to resist my tales of handjobs and the promise of Impact player every week. I’d like to be able to give some words of encouragement to my new found team mates for this one, but so far Fold haven’t been cutting it against the top teams, so I am fully expecting us to crash and burn. It will take some great performances all-round to take a round from the angry Germans (not you genZ!), but like a fine wine I expect us to get better with age.

Impact players:
~flatline-ns` : HiVeFiSh (Fade), M (Shotgun), phil (Skulk)
meh! : Pizza (BOSS), zh (2 Fat 2 Die), sherpa (If he shows up!)

Flatline-Ns 4 - 0 Fold

Adz’ Final Thought: Flatline should have this under control, although it might not be a total pushover ;)


Team Russia vs The Sproggalots

It seems I’m in an uncompromising mood this week; I’ve predicted two four-nil results already. The unreliable Russians facing off against the title holders, this will be over faster than you can say “foregone conclusion”.

Ok! Ok! Maybe I’m being a little harsh. In three seasons Team Russia has proven to be a team worthy of being in Division 1. On paper they look to be the underdogs of the division, but they have activity in spades which is lacking in some of the new teams. I foresee business as usual with Macpersil, Snake and Sone having to pull out the big performances to carry the rest. The tank factor and a strong focus on RT Chewing and Recapping give the Russians a strong Alien Round, capable of comebacks if left unchecked. I will be watching out for sMile this season, a young Lativian with a lot of potential who has come on in leaps and bounds since last season. The addition of BigBanana is a definitely boost to their Marine Round, but he’s not the calmest commando in town!

The Sproggalots haven’t been sitting on their laurels in the off-season. They’ve been refining and improving their squad with a few major changes. The loss of sherpa and Tweadle’s impending emigration to Austrialia had them wracking their brains to find a replacement. I believe it was the sinister Willa who abducted unsuspecting Swede and YO Clan Regular, klawz and took him to a secret Sprogga Training Camp. Needless to say he has been indoctrinated with Sproggan Mantra, “I’ll never stop dominating!” and things are looking good. If I had to describe the other addition to their roster in one word it would definitely have to be crazy. Yes you guessed it; Juuso “Scale” Uotila has joined forces with the Champions to maintain their dominance. It is my duty however to inform you that ventrilo-exposure to this guy may scar you mentally. With the most active and arguably the best roster in the league, this match should be a cut and dried affair.

.ru : sMile (Rising Star), Macpersil (Marine\Lerk), Snake (Fade)
sprogga ~ : Scale (Marine\Lerk), enigmatic (Marine), GreeN (Fade)

Team Russia 0 - 4 The Sproggalots

Adz’ Final Thought: Sprogga E-Manager Adam “altbstfrth” Firth is also available for minor landscaping. Tel: 0845-ALTYHASAIDS

That's all for this week...

Eat a dick, bitches!